Winter. Discontent. Content.

The winter of our discontent

Richard:
Now is the winter of our discontent
Made glorious summer by this son of York;
And all the clouds that low'r'd upon our house
In the deep bosom of the ocean buried.

Richard The Third Act 1, scene 1, 1–4

My good friend, William said it first, but every person who has dealt with winter has echoed his refrain. Winter sucks.

Some more that most. Only because the winter we are in the middle of, always seems worse that the ones we remember. Unless it's about school closings or snowfall. Then history has no clue of our pain and suffering.

I have a genetic predisposition to depression. I am also human. Too often those walk step by step. The winter with it's cold, frost, lack of sun and general ability to do anything without feeling like air itself is trying to kill you, is an excellent accomplice to depression. The Starscream to it's Megatron, the Harley Quinn to it's Joker, the Bud Light to it's Bud. In short. It's all bad.

I think mid February is the worst. Christmas cheer is dead. Signs of spring are sparse. This year the tortured midwest doesn't even get to brag about snow fall as the North East has taken that on like Miley Cyrus adopting ratchet as a label.

It's February 19th. And today I realized just how much this winter has taken from me. Hope. Energy. Faith. Excitement. Contentment.

Winter and it's forces bring me discontent.

Let me brag a little. I've paid off a stupid (yes my own past) amount of debt in the past few years and I have almost made it to a plateau, financially at least. I have jobs for good reasons, either flexibility for being a father or for a company I love or a field I am fascinated about. I have to really amazing children who have dealt with all my failings in the past (divorce) and present (not speaking french) that make me less afraid about the future (middle school). I have loving family and friends and some day a really kick ass dog who can eat treats out of my mouth and be there when the night terrors hit. i have a really functional and productive relationship with my ex wife. Which media has told me will never happen. I own a photo with a personal autograph from Mr. T.

That is some cool shit.

 But winter still kicks my ass. I hate the cold. I hate the snow. Shoveling is a bitch. Skiing seems like oddly scheduled suicide. My feet don't work with blades or broomball boots. I was not made for this.

Today. Today was good. It hurt at first. Being reminded of my selfish flaws. My tendency to act a child and only think of myself. It's a defense mechanism and it's hard to ignore. But someone I respect and love called me on it. It was needed. It hurt. But it was true. Once again I had started to let the seasonal depression win. Annoyingly. Yet repeatedly.

The comment shook me. It made me focus. On the job immediate at hand. At the job of fixing my easy to accept depression nature. It was good. It made me laugh with friends at work. It made me value those interactions.

After work, I went to relax. Same pattern as I have had for years. The comfortable place with the good people. As always it was what I needed. Laughs aplenty. Smiles. Jokes. Comrades. It made the stress melt away. I laughed. I played dice games. I never for one moment gave a thought to winter and depression or any of that.

William is never far from my heart. And I realized that Winter does suck. It does bring discontent.

But it is made glorious by the Sons (Daughters) of York.

Those friends, colleagues, something mores, that can't be denied. 

Thank you for being my sons and daughters of York that make this discontented winter better with a glorious sun.