When my first wife and I got married, we agreed to never have children. Neither of us felt that we were prepared to bring another life into this chaotic, horrible world, and I myself didn’t feel prepared to give them any skills to get through it. I felt I would be, a bad parent and was in so many ways I was still a child and unprepared.
Life happened and we brought two amazing beings into life. Both had to struggle to fight to get here to land on this planet of existence each of them probably in another age would not have been allowed opportunity and despite our misgiving, we burst individuals.
Opportunity and despite our misgiving, we birthed two individuals. I arrogant thought I would figure it out as I went.
But overtime, it proves that I was right in my first assumption. I was not prepared or ready to be a father or a mentor or anything resembling a support system. I failed both of them repeatedly.
In spite of my flawed existence and despite my negative influences on them, they have both succeeded are succeeding, thriving, and will thrive.
vilification of my existence, despite my negative influences on them, they have both succeeded - are succeeding, thriving, and will thrive.
It is understandable that neither of them really has much desired of anything to do with me because I have provided not enough and I have also been cast as a villain and derided the entire way .
I take pride and I have never chosen the path of derision and vilification of the other parent. It is clear to me that the only thing on earth that early 20 something me, was right about was that I was not ready and not prepared. and yet I unleashed that stumbling fool of a father upon them.
And yet I unleashed that stumbling fool of a father upon them.
Is it a paradox that I cannot fix? I cannot wish it had happened because then these incredible individuals would not exist. I do wish that I could’ve been better. I do wish so much.
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