South Park misses deadline.

I have never been a huge fan of South Park. I find some of their stuff funny. I think they are masters at pushing the satire envelope. There movie was simply amazing. However, I've never made South Park regular viewing. I had no idea the time table that they put themselves under.

17 Seasons in, South Park Misses Its First Deadline

6 days to write and complete an animated show seems ridiculously insane. They may be the masters of potty humor and tend to take that satire envelope and just throw it right in the fire now and then. But it's damn impressive to have such a short turn around.

Also, knowing the marketing savvy of these guys, I wouldn't put it out of bounds to think this might have been calculated. How big will the ratings be next week?

And for fun. Blame Canada at the Academy Awards. 

WOTE Covers Doobie!

Walk off the Earth has easily become one of my favorite YouTube finds. Love their videos. Their covers and their original stuff as well. But they just covered my favorite Doobie Brothers songs. Love. it. Find it on Youtube. Here are some of my other favorites.

Royals. 

Somebody that I used to know

Original Red Hands

Even Material Girl

Such fun. Hope I can see them live one day.

Politics are a joke. But at times they work.

So everyone has heard of the government shutdown that just ended. It was a red herring, the people hurt were mostly simply inconvenienced and the government workers will receive all the pay they lost. It's a drama without real drama. Much like high school. The legislative branch has kicked the financial can down the road and all is well.

In doing so, a member of congress actually managed to use his position for it's intended purposed - to help his district, state, constituents. It's such a rare idea that the media is freaking out about it. Trying to paint his actions as corrupt or backhanded. However, his constituents, his state has repeatedly elected him in hopes that he can achieve a role of power to help his state. He now has. He actually follows through on being an agent of the people and rewarding them for years of re-elections, by getting more funding for a public works project in the state. And he's viewed as a crook.

McConnell-Reid Deal Includes $2 Billion Earmark for Kentucky Project

It's been called a kickback. No. It's doing his job. If he got $2 billion in his pocket it's a kickback. If he helps his state, his constituents, its part of the job. They elected him. They gave him seniority. They allowed him to achieve the power to help his state. In the modern era, actually doing your job is seen as criminal. We're so far off the rails, we can't even see the tracks.  

Silence is.....

I've never been good with silence. When I perform menial tasks around the house, at work, I always have the radio or television on. Often I will have Netflix or Hulu playing in one window while I play a game or work in another window. Silence for me is something to be filled.

As a kid, I remember sitting in the car on the way back from a birthday party. A party I had only wanted to be invited too because the birthday boy had the GI Joe aircraft carrier and I had to see it. Had to play with it. Needed to know that it was real. I didn't really like the birthday boy and wasn't that close to him but the birthday was fun. Pizza. Presents. Aircraft carrier. All good stuff. Really enjoyed myself more than I thought I would. We watched ET. It was good.

But on the car ride home, in a car with a parent I barely knew and this kid I only kind of did, there was silence. So I filled it. I told them my life story, from birth in Seward to my move to Minnesota. I told the story of how my parents met, I gave specific directions in a calm and confident tone to my home included when would be the best times to merge and the significant cultural landmarks on the way (We got our couch over there, that billboard never changes, the exit tells you that we are 135 miles from the Iowa border) I couldn't let there be silence. It freaked me out.

In radio, dead air is the ultimate sin. Anything over two seconds starts to feel like an eternity. If the listener hears nothing, they will change the channel - virtual death for a radio station. So again, I learned to fill the space. Always be ready with something, don't let the energy drop, if you're the color guy at a basketball game and the play by play guy is looking for something in his notes - you damn well better be ready with some observation, analysis or anything - just not dead air. I learned to fear dead air, the idea that if it happened the loudest sound would be the audience changing the station.

I don't meditate. I don't spend much time in prayer. I don't work on centering myself and my chi. However, I have recently begun to try and respect the silence. Not exactly enjoy it. But respect it. I fill my head with so much. I like to be over stimulated. Computer on, phone in hand, books set to the side, three different browsers open with tabs on each plus conquering the known world in Civilization. Sometimes I'll put on a VHS or radio and let it fill the back ground. Lots of input to sort through. Keeps my constantly misfiring brain working. It works for me.

Lately however, I have tried to build silence into my day. Each day from 1 to 2 in the store, I try and turn off the radio. Part of it is that after four hours of radio information, I have heard just about all that will be said for the day. But part of it is to stop all the white noise and just let my mind work. It's amazing how that hour often goes extremely fast when I can find positive or interesting things to think about. Conversely, time stands still when melancoly or negative thoughts invade my thinking. Went I get trapped in a negative place, time doesn't even exist.

When I am honest with myself, and I very rarely am, I know that my fear of time stopping is often what drives me to fill up my life with white noise. I am so afraid of those mental quicksand moments that I would rather deal with so much over stimulation than face them. It's why I hate to sleep. In the day, I can guide my psyche, my mind. I can distract it. I can overload it. I can keep it from wandering into the forests that I would rather take the long road around. When I sleep, the mind is free. The subconscious frolics in the places I don't want to go. The fears. The dreads. The losses. The loneliness. I am at my mind's whim when I sleep. I hate it that loss of control.

I tell myself that trying to incorporate silence into my daily routine will help me when I have to face the silence of sleep and the ghosts, shadows, memories, hopes and dreams it brings. It seems a bit pathetic to try and train myself to face it during the day so I can endure it during the night. But sometimes I have those good hours. Those hours that time flies by. The hours when letting my mind loose is positive. The good hours of silence.

The more good hours I find in the day - I hope the more good hours I'll find at night.

The best radio story I never told.

I love radio. Have since the 30-45 minute morning and afternoon commutes as a kid in Minnesota. I was lucky. I caught the tail end of the golden age of Twin Cities radio. In the morning it was Boone and Erickson on WCCO. News, traffic, weather on the 8s. Keeping us updated and ready for the day. In the afternoon it was Steve Cannon and the theater of the mind. It took me years to realize that it was one man doing voices, creating a full room of people. It was amazing. I had no idea until I was in college.

My work life has had many twists, turns and down right potholes. One happy circumstance brought me to radio, which led me to Boston, which I then rediscovered in Kentucky and still am a tiny part of to this day. People always ask about my crazy radio stories. Probably because they think of Howard Stern or WKRP (ironically, one of my former owners claimed to be the inspiration for the show with one of the producers). I have crazy fun stories. This is something different.

When I was in Kentucky, I was on a morning show and we would do these live remotes. It was a smaller metro area so there wasn't really a huge audience for our live remotes. That summer I noticed that we had this one kid who kept showing up at every remote. All around town. Miles apart and he always rode his bike. It looked like he had all his belongings on the bike.

We got to talking and he told me he was a season worker who's work ended and he decided to stay in town. He was living with some homeless guys under a bridge down by the river and he had a wind up radio that he would listen to our show with. He loved it. I also noticed that he would never take the free pizza or sandwiches/pop etc that we provided as promotional stuff at the live events. He didn't want to seem like he was just taking advantage of the freebies.

After the third time he showed up, at an lab that was 15 miles from the river area that he lived in. I offered him and his bike a ride back after we were done. His name was Derek. He was 19. From Louisiana. Scared to go back home. But he didn't have anywhere to go. He knew that he'd have to do something soon because the police had started to bug the camp he and the others had set up.

I forced him to take the left over pizza from the live broadcast and a case of soda as well. We sat by the river and talked about family for almost an hour. It was a rough time in my life. I had issues with my family. With my parents. With my estranged wife. With my role as a father. Talking with Derek helped. We helped each other. I told him fears and things I hadn't told anyone else. He told me his. It was something. Maybe not friendship. But it was honest.

For the next six weeks he biked to every live broadcast. Once the owner of the jewelry store demanded he leave because he didn't look like the type of clientele for a jewelry store. He really didn't want the charity.When he would let me, I'd give him any left overs we had - food, soda etc. A couple of times he completely refused.  I offered him money for a bus ticket home but he wouldn't take it. I thought I might have offended him because I didn't see him for a while.

In late august at the last big event of the summer, where we were giving away a truck, he stopped by. To apologize. He'd sold his bike and wind up radio to some other guys and had saved enough money from odd jobs that he had his bus ticket and going home. He felt bad that he hadn't been listening anymore. He was a great kid. I gave him my # but I never heard from him. I hope he made it home.

Not the normal DJ story I suppose. I have those. Crazy college kids. Kangaroos. Radio station rivalry bar fights. But my best one is Derek. 

Fall Television Premieres, Squirrels, and Whatnot

I decided tonight that I would write a blog about the new fall television season, specifically the new shows I am not watching via Hulu. Like all good plans and blogs. It started as one thing and became something entirely different.

I love the fall. I love the chill in the air. I love the possibility of new things. Spring is the supposed to be the season of birth, of creation. But to me, as a child of educators, as a live long student, as a media addict. Nothing can beat the fall.

New drama. New comedy. New characters. New worlds to explore. This is what fall means to me. Spring is the season of finales, endings, cancellations, graduations and moving on. Plus some nature stuff happens as well.

This fall, I have been excited to see new shows. Familiar faces in new places like James Spader on Blacklist, Maggie Lawson graduating from cable to network, Ichabod Crane as a super spy and yes, more Marvel's Agents of Shield.

I have watched the pilots of several series and my plan was to review them all here for you, but one took over my thinking and will hopefully get it's own post. Long. Ridiculous post. So yes. Here is a fall TV premiere review without any of Fury's chosen few. From a nerd. 

I added squirrels instead.

Oh. Ahem. SPOILER ALERT!!!!

Sleepy Hollow

Yes. I know. It' doesn't fit with the book. It has Dan Brown level of exposition and random happy coincidences. But you know what. I don't care.

The headless horseman is Death. Yeah, that Death. Not the cute Neil Gaiman version, the book of Revelation version. He is a bad dude. In the first episode he clearly adapts to modern weaponry. Ok. It's over the top. It's ridiculous. Ichabod isn't a bookish nerd, he's former British special ops who falls in love with a witch and is best buds with George Washington. His death and rebirth is tied to the Horseman's and he teams with a talented sheriff with a scary moment in the past. The two of them may be the only thing standing in the way of Armageddon. And not the animal cracker sex move kin of Armageddon. It shouldn't work. It's not at all believable.

I don't care. It's fun. It's camp. Of course there is a series of interconnecting tunnels under Sleepy Hollow built by George Washington. (Clearly the Vietcon were big Washington tactical fans) Of course the Kurgen from Highlander is the friendly, father like sheriff who gets his head chopped off. And who else but Harold from Harold and Kumar could help bring about the apocalypse?

It's strange. But the show knows it and doesn't care. It goes big. It embraces it. It works.

Watch Sleepy Hollow if you need an escape and park your suspension of disbelief at that door.

The Blacklist 

James Spader was going to be an admiral. He had the world on a string. Then he quit. He became a super spy who everyone hated. Top 10 most wanted for years. Then he turns himself in and wants to make a dead. He's got a list. A brand new female profiler as his side kick and he's going to break all the rules for some mysterious purpose. Help the government catch the bad guys it doesn't even know exist.

It's a bit Silence of the Lambs, it's a bit Count of Monte Cristo and it's all not supposed to work. Spader is having so much fun chewing up scenery that it doesn't matter. The minor characters, including his new profiler side kick are simply there to set up his moves. The scripts are weak. The mysteries will be too sledgehammer. (Kidnapping an admirals daughter to blow up a zoo? The Penguins of Madagascar had more evolved plans.) But again. It's fun. Spader owns the show. He's loving every minute of it. He's playing a caricature and he knows it. The show will fail when he becomes bored. Until then, I'll watch every minute of it.

Dads

I love sitcoms. I personally believe that I kept Platypus Man and Pig Sty on the air by myself for several weeks out of sure unadulterated love. I wish I was Seth Green. Casting him as the idea man for a video game company whose partner is also dealing with a live in father who is a pain in the ass. Sure. That works.

It's formulaic and the jokes aren't breaking new ground - they just had an episode about pot brownies for the love of mike. Each episode is full of more smile and smirk jokes than belly laugh ones. Yet, I watch. Maybe because I have parents. Maybe because I've hosted a party my father showed up too and became the life of. Maybe because I don't know if Brenda Song is playing an Asian stereotype or against type or just happy to have a job that isn't Disney. Nonetheless, the only way this show would have me more interested is if William Shatner or my own father were playing one of the titular roles.

Back in the Game

I love Maggie Lawson. I love Juliet from Psych. I love that as one show is winding down for her another might just be lifting off. (Much like I expect more Agent Hill on Agents of Shield after HIMYM concludes). James Caan is mostly mailing it in. And the concept makes me wonder if there is a story beyond one season. But I'm happy to have Maggie on my screens as much as possible.

Yeah it's a bad omen that there was a movie of the same name with Amy Adams and Clint Eastwood that was about baseball and bombed this summer. I fear it doesn't have much of a chance. But I'll right letters, tweets or throw a baseball at someone's head to keep Maggie around.

Marvel's Agents of Sheild

It gets its own post. I'll explain. No wait. There is too much. Instead.

Squirrels.

Mother @#$@#% squirrels.

I'm at war. My yard is a safe place for animals. I have deer walk through. I have a local owl. I have named at least 3 rabbits, all Bob or Bobette, that have residence in my yard. The squirrels and I have had a easy truce for almost two years. But then one went and got himself squished by my garage door. Honestly how does that happen? It's like Michael Palin running over Kevin Kline in A Fish Called Wanda, except without the feet stuck in concrete. How dumb do you have to bed to die via slowly moving garage door?

Then another croaks in the front yard. Seriously? What the hell nature? I've got two young kids who don't need to see the miracle of decomposition up close. Die somewhere else.

If it was just the dying, I could let it go. I mean, really it's not completely the squirrel's fault. Except for the garage door....seriously. WTF.

It's the nuts. The damned black walnuts that fall from a tree in my yard. They eat them. They peal them. They leave walnut casing all over my yard. And on my porch. They crawl along the side of my stucco'd house like Spiderman. They roll the walnuts off of my roof in such a way to make me feel like Hudson in Aliens (there in the walls man!!! The @^$#^$ walls!!!!).

Tonight I walked to my porch. Scattered the walnut casings and made a pronouncement. Least the squirrels should claim they were not warned....

"Dearest Squirrels. I love your scampering ways. Your childlike enthusiasm. Your dexterity of at least 8 die. But if you don't stop leaving your walnut peelings on my porch, I will be forced to purchase both a yippy dog and a pellet gun to hunt you down. You may gather your nuts for winter. But if I see another pile of walnut reside on my porch. Your nuts are mine!"

I swear I heard one of those @#$@# things laugh....

Maybe I should get another garage door. 

Links, Allegations and Little Left Unsaid.

I spend an abnormal about of time browsing the internet each night. I might have insomnia. I might hate the dreams my subconscious sends my way. I might simple need a more comfortable pillow. Nonetheless, here are some fun things I've recently found.

A red Star Trek uniform as a cycling jersey. That's just tempting fate. And traffic.

I really enjoy The Silent Comedy musically. It's cool that they are partnering to raise money though unique merchandise as well.

Yes. Everyone has heard Ylvis "What does the Fox say?" by now but as the Lonely Island/Weird Al of Scandinavia they have some great other videos as well.

And Stonehenge really hits home. Why did they build it?

What does the Fox say made them huge. I hope it leads people to discover the rest of their work.

Speaking of performance art. Dreds and Breado may be but an internet memory but for two days, they were a thing .

It doesn't rate up there with what Pizza the Hutt did to himself but this onside kick by UL-Lafayette's kicker is pretty impressive.

My son has been asking for super hero pjs and the selection at the local big box stores is always rather mundane. So I found this site and his pjs are in the proverbial mail.

If you haven't yet checked out Walk off the Earth I recommend starting with their cover of Lordes Royals. You'll get caught up in the fun, silliness and songs you didn't realize you knew there after.

 There is a decent chance if I found a lost dog. This would happen.

 If I remember correctly this happened to Joey on Friends way back when. Bad luck. Not the ad you want to be associated with. And she didn't even get paid...

Grantland has some really good stuff. Some about sports, like this piece on the Cleveland Browns draft process. And some about pop culture, like this one about the new fall broadcast shows. Already into the surreal almost silliness of Sleepy Hollow. Reminds me of Grimm.

And finally, while silly this article detailing just how far Rocky must have run in the training montage from Rocky II is both brilliant and pointless. Love it.

Rocky was an ultra-marathoner. But those kids are even more unexplainable. Ah movies.

Origin Story - Kid #2

Today my son is 7. Seven. Such an eventful entry into the world. Premature. Tiny. I've never been so scared in all my life as I drove those miles to Louisville, chasing an ambulance. Scared I'd lose so much. Scared I wouldn't make it in time. Scared I didn't even know what hospital I was going to. He arrived and was so perfect yet so incredibly small. So strong. Once again they asked for a name. Two kids, two times I picked the first name from our list that came to mind. Then worried if I spelled it right. 

After he and mom were safe and resting. I was so wired. I hadn't eaten all day. I left the hospital to find something to eat and try and breathe. Across the street there was of all things, a Hooters. So there I was, eating wings, crying tears of joy/exhaustion/relief and showing Hooters waitresses and other patrons pictures of my newborn son. 

It was surreal. All of it was. But it was good. And so is he. My son.

Fatherhood. Parents v. Kids Games.

I'm a very lucky man. I have two amazing children. I'm not particularly good at being a grown up myself but through the grace of fates, I've somehow been part of raising two of the best people I've ever met. And I was reminded of it tonight.

My two children have been gone for the past 13 days on a trip with their grandparents. Covered over 3000 miles in a Pontiac. Which speaks both to my parents' good natures and the family devotion to General Motors. Today was the day they returned. I had begged my folks to make sure that they were back for today. Because today is one of my favorite days as a Dad.

It was Kids vs. Parents at Tee ball and Soccer. All summer long I watch them grow as individuals, play with others, succeed, fail, get back up and try again. And then I finally get to play too.

It took me a while to realize the one of the gifts of being a parent. The excuse to play. Board games, water fights, dart tag, build legos and even compete in seemingly mismatched adults vs. children game of sport.

Ironically. This is a day I was dreading not even one year ago. I know the expectation. I know that the adults are supposed to make the kids feel good and the kids will win. So we miss an easy grounder or pass it right to the goalie to make the kid feel better. So I was prepared for that. Last summer, I was ready to play my part and placate and make it seem like I was trying even when I wasn't. I was prepared for all of that and the fake grins and ah shucks that come with it.

What I wasn't prepared for, and it's something that I should have come to realize I'm never prepared for and probably won't totally ever truly be..was my daughter.

Last summer at soccer. The parents were doing their parent thing, halfass'ing it and trying to make the kids look good. What none of us expected was that despite our good intentions and desire to build the egos of the kids, they caught on to the B.S. My daughter regularly reminds me of how much she knows, sees, perceives that I don't give her immediate credit for. But I didn't see it coming at all that day on the pitch.

In the middle of the parent v kid pagent of almost trying. My daughter stopped. Turned to me. Gave me a scathing look her mother couldn't have mustered and said at the top of her 7 year old voice with pure righteousness and incredulity...."You're not trying".

She was right. I wasn't. I just had never expected her to know. She followed up by somehow channeling an actor I'm sure she's never seen, Al Pacino. She said...and I quote. "I'm giving my best and I deserve your best."

Yeah. Not expected. The beauty was what happened next. Every kid on her team did the same, looking at their parents and not accepting the half assed kicks or the oops it went through my legs crap. They wanted to beat us fair and square. No gimmicks. No layups.

The entire game changed. It was amazing. These same kids I had watched for two months muck about on the field played with barbarian like intensity. This was their moment, they weren't going to let up because we, as adults, thought we should placate them. And the adults changed too. No. We suddenly weren't all gifted with exquisite skill but all of a sudden we gave a damn and actually started to try. No we didn't start throwing elbows or slide tackling the kid who can't dribble but we didn't just let the ball go through our legs anymore either. We tried. And damn it, our kids deserved that we didn't just roll over.

I feared that maybe that was a one time thing. That my daughter wouldn't challenge me again. That she'd want to win easy, to not worry if I was actually giving it my all. But tonight, though she didn't tell me I wasn't trying or that she deserved my best, she competed. Though not allowed by the coaches, we kept score both personally and as teams, she reveled in both the goal she scored by accident, by having a shot re-directed by her knee from the kid who probably has better facial hair than me (at 8...) and the one that she simply gentled rolled into the opposite corner.

I scored two as well. Still careful not to be that guy who's knocking over kids but also actually giving the goalie shots he has to work to stop. And I showed off a bit. I used ball control to fake one kid on his butt and sent several balls across the middle that could have easily been slotted away by any middle school striker. And the best part is that I found that even when I tried and these 8 and 9 year old kids ran their best at me, they often still won, the ball went out of bounds or was cleared. I swear the look that they had on their faces after I actually ran with them into a corner on a 50/50 ball was worth the fact I was gasping for air.

Not all the parents got into it. There was the Dad in the Barca track jacket who seemed entirely too cool for school. There was a dad who insisted he'd never played before but was excellent in sending decent through balls down the line so I could race a kid who probably was baselining kool aid or something before the game. And yes, I'd been waiting 5 weeks to score a goal against the loud mouth kid who is a horrible goalie and made a snide comment about a scoring chance my daughter had weeks ago. It wasn't perfect. But it was worth every time I gasped for breath or considered telling my 6 yr old to call 911.

I tried to save a ball from going out over the end line and resulting in a goal kick by a over zealous hook slide approach and reroute it for a throw in instead. I missed and I got a nice raspberry on my leg as a reward. But as I poured the peroxide over my wound, as I had dozens of times in high school, I knew it was worth it. And the only thought that was in my mind was the hug that my daughter gave me in the middle of the game and she said, "I'm so glad we made it back for this."

She might channel Pacino at times. But that girl will always make me an offer I can't refuse. Try.

She deserves it.

Unintended Consequences....

Several years ago I started a novel. I do that a lot. Try to start writing a novel and then seemingly like a certain 6 year old I know with a sandwich, lose my taste for it and simple walk away. Often leaving the sandwich or in this case story on the ground. To rot.

This story however, dealt with a man who's life had little meaning, he was successful but alone and had made his money and success off products that harmed others. So he decided to take one final noble, in his mind at least, action. He found a woman widowed by his product and made her his life insurance beneficiary. He purchased dozens of small insurance policies with high payouts and proceed to attempt to place himself in situations where he would probably die. Cut rate sky diving. Amateur drag racing. Going to a biker bar and hitting on all the biker "mommas" etc and so forth. Over the course of this he and widow, who is in on the scheme eventually grow close and fall in love. The protagonist is forced to decide what would be the best way to show his love. Attempt to die as planned and provide for her monetary future or live. That's where I got stuck. I couldn't decide. So that will be another part of my "choose your own ending" anthology.

Currently the President, government, politicos of all sorts are in a similar situation with The Affordable Care Act. Ideally it was meant to take a step towards universal health care of some sort. While still trying to please the insurance companies, business owners and work within the existing insurance structure in some what. In short. It's a colossal mess. With some potentially serious unintended consequences. Like less full time jobs.

Behold The Part-Time Worker Society: "We Won't Start Hiring Full-Time People"

Ok. Yeah. It's a weird website. The story is written by someone claiming to be Tyler Durden. I get that. But it points out something that has been worrisome to me for months. Why?

Because if I owned a company with 50 more hourly employees. It's what I'd do.

Cut. Hours.

Because if I didn't, I might not be able to pay anyone anything any more.

Many small to medium sized companies can't absorb the extra cost added by insurance. It's not about them being evil. It's about survival. It's adding another bill each month. One that most businesses hadn't expected or planned for. So raise prices in a slow to ugly economy where many workers are having their hours cut or higher more workers.

It's said that 50% of restaurants fail in their first year. Even the ones who survive basically never make five years. With that slim a chance at continued success, any business owner would be foolish to add another cost when it can be easily avoided.

My grandfather worked one job, 9-5, with one company for his whole life. Those days are over. I will probably never be able to retire. I have for most of my adult life had more than one job and expect that to continue. 

That's the real crime. There's an out. Hire more workers, every one works less, no insurance. It was a loop hole that will make it harder for hourly workers to get enough hours. Eventually, health insurance will be like car insurance. On the individual. Perhaps run by the government. But we will all have it in some way. We just might all have three jobs too.

The individual may be healthier with "affordable care" but I'm not sure the individual can afford it.

Tuesday Tidbits.

So yesterday I mowed, pulled some weeds. Stared at some plants begging my mind to magically know if it was weed or plant. Then it rained. Today I did laundry, picked up some surprises for the kids and another ceiling fan that I hope to install this summer. (Two ceiling fans = hopefully less air conditioning this summer = lower bills. In theory.) And it rained again. So after spending quite a bit of time organizing for the garage sale. It's time to pass on tidbits from the internet.

It's a bit Big Brother but I'm sort of glad that a person this entitled and oblivious to not only bikers but possibly all humanity got caught because of her self important tweet. 

Woman Brags About Hitting Cyclist, Discovers Police Also Use Twitter

 Hopefully she gets her license and twitter suspended.

I enjoy video games. I don't play them as often as some. My Xbox 360 is more often used to watch Netflix and sports highlights. However, I found the #Xboxreveal presentation to be fascinating from a media, entertainment, games and even perception of technology level. I probably can't afford it when it debuts but the new Call of Duty: Ghosts looks great and the sports games are intriguing. Too bad MLB games just don't sell.

In FIFA 07 or something like that, I discovered The Cat Empire. I love their stuff and so does my son. Think I can sneak a 6 year old into an 18+ show if I give him a beard and call him Grumpy? 

Sue McLean & Associates present

The Cat Empire

Thursday, Jul 11, 2013 8:00 PM CDT 
The Cedar Cultural Center, Minneapolis, MN

This feels like a plot out of Law and Order, Bones or some other made for TV cop show. So glad I'm not the workers who discovered this. Just unfair. Should get to sue the murderer for pain and suffering.

Body found in trunk at Mpls. tow lot

This young boy will probably never duplicate a moment like this. I just hope he can remember it.

The best part is his momentary confusion at the cheers and the subsequent arms thrust into the air.
Still raining. But time to clean out the cupboards of items I haven't used since I moved in....

Minneapolis Rave Run Review Reaction

I've never really liked running. Even in high school, when on the track team for three years, I hated being a distance runner. I wasn't even long distance. 800 meters. It sucked. I would much rather have been a sprinter or a long jumper. That to me was track and field. Carl Lewis. Michael Johnson. Etc. Running was something I usually saved for when I was being chased. You'd be surprised how often that happened in high school. Maybe not.

But lately, it's become obvious that if I were to run for my life. It better be a sprint. I'm almost half again the man I used to be in high school and it's time to start getting more active and maybe, just maybe in a little better shape. It would suck to have zombies out run you. Walking Dead style zombies, not World War Z zombies, those look intense.

With this in mind, I have paid lip service in the past to trying a 5k. In a fit of spontaneity and probably a bit of madness, I decided to sign up for the Minneapolis Rave Run. On less than two weeks notice.

Several runner friends thought I was nuts. It takes 8 weeks to properly train for a real 5k they said. I had 2. And middling to fair motivation.  They were probably right. But luckily the Rave Run is more about fun than run.

As their Facebook page puts it:

RUNNERS, ARTISTS AND INSOMNIACS UNITE. 
WELCOME TO THE RAVE RUN. 

- NIGHT TIME FUN RUN OF STUNNING LIGHTS AND MUSIC
- EYE DAZZLING LIGHT EFFECTS DESIGNED BY EDC ARTISTS AND INDUSTRY EXPERTS
- WICKED AFTER-PARTY
- TRANSFORMING VALLEY FAIR INTO A NOCTURNAL WONDERLAND ON MAY 10, 2013

The Rave Run was founded in 2012 by a runner, an artist and an insomniac. The idea was to bring the adrenaline pumping music and special effects from electronic festivals onto a 2.5-3.5 mile course. The dazzling light effects are designed by EDC artists and industry experts. It’s like Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory except with lights. It’s candy for your eyes and ears. It’s a glow run…gone wild! Get ready for the night of your life. Experience a magical world of light and sound unlike anything else out there.

I don't know that I would go as far as calling it Willy Wonka's expect with lights. But it seemed like a fun unique concept. Lots of people, energizing music, insomnia. Plus it's dark, so if I'm sucking wind after 800 meters, it would be harder for people to see.

As I said I've never run a 5k. Haven't run regularly in almost 15 years. But lights, music, glow stuff. I'm in. I registered. Shirt. Some glow stuff. Some nebulous portion of the money seemingly goes to a Minnesota Adoption support foundation. It all seems good. I even paid the extra $6 for the "glow pack". I started to get excited and apprehensive.

I put together a run training plan, cobbled together from the internet and asking actual friends who have run more recently than 15 years ago. It was rough. Novice that I was, I did everything wrong. Ate before a run. Ick. Just hit start on a treadmill program and ran 3 miles through the Rocky Mountains, not cursing John Denver at all, those things are spectacular. I was beat. Now I was very worried. I'm probably going to slow down my compatriots and probably collapse in a heap and be that guy who gets CPR.

Luckily, as I did more research into other Rave Runs held across the country, I picked up on the fun vs run focus. People in the pictures looked like they were having a great time. Not in the marathon, I'm so happy I'm not dead and why would the Greeks really make a guy run that long a distance just to send a message - don't they have pigeons, sort of way. But an actual I'm enjoying myself, this is fun, you probably won't get CPR from a burly carnie sort of way.

I also noticed some of the complaints, crowded, lack of parking, couldn't run like I wanted to, where's my tshirt etc. Both of these informed my anticipation and planning for the run.

The company organizing the run sent out a Race Guide and several emails leading up to the event. They strongly encouraged getting there early, picking up your packet ahead of time and having fun. Clearly, not everyone read those emails*.

*Ironically, I think that if the government has really important information to hide, they should send out weekly emails and then hide it on paragraph 37. No one ever reads an entire email anymore. Oh wait, that's kind of like what congress does with bills...

I arrived at Valleyfair at 7 PM. A full two hours before the start of the run. Parking was already getting slim and with one entrance off of one road to Valleyfair, it was becoming a traffic disaster.

I caught up my running partner and we made our way to the chaotic check in area. There was one line for regular registrants, one for groupon, living social etc, another line for free glow stuff, yet another line we almost never found for the extra glow packet. The lines moved relatively quickly and the check in lady liked my last name so much she said she wanted it for hers. It was basically a marriage proposal. (Happy day is in August, running down the aisle!)* And we were set up with bibs, glow stuff with plenty of time before the race. Now we waited.

*Totally totally false. We'll jog. 

While waiting, it became clear that the parking situation was out of control. Cars were backed up on the highway outside Valleyfair and reports had them backed up all the way to 494. Time was ticking and the sun was just about down. Soon the race was supposed to start.

Other members of the group I had attached myself to were stuck in traffic and it didn't seem like they'd make it inside in time. Luckily, they made it in, navigated the many lines faster than we did and miraculous found us waiting by a tree. Glow stuff was all double checked and we made our way to the giant crowd at the starting line. Communication by the organizers was limited. At other events I've sold merchandise at or simply attended, there was often an MC. Often annoying but at least giving some information and direction. The closest thing Rave Run had was a DJ. Who's skills must lie in spinning because communication and crowd control were not his forte.

The massive crowd moved like a herd toward the start line. It resembled Dan Patch avenue on the busiest day of the fair but with glow glasses and sticks. They tried sending groups of runners but eventually that seemed to fall apart as more people would just start. Walking. Not running.

There simply wasn't any room to run. It started out as a slightly brisk walk. As the group started to spread out a little there slowly became room to jog. However, this simply encouraged some over motivated jackholes to try and sprint, running in and around people like a kid late for home room. Yes, it was sold as a 5K. But adapt jerk. Enjoy the music, jog a bit and try not to run over the kids, strollers or other people just having fun. You can always put on your reflective vest and run maniacally through your neighborhood later.

The course wrapped through Valleyfair, a serpentine like track that made it very hard to keep any pace due to the myriad bottlenecks and virtual u-turns. But it was fun. People seemed to be having a good time. It wasn't too crazy a pace, one fellow runner even tried to facetime during the run. There was one water stop, which seemingly was placed way too close to the finish. I jogged, ran, walked, avoided, slowed down sped up and soon I was near the end. I kicked it up a bit as we got to finish line, and ended feeling loose and good.

After the race there was a rave like event. Stage, music, dancing, go go girls. But after the people watching wore off, I realized I was entirely to old and sober to get out there. Plus one guy had totally already stolen all of my moves.

 

I probably should have stayed and learned new ones as the parking and traffic morass of before the race returned and it took me over an hour to get out of the parking lot itself. Long enough to hear the Twins finish blowing a 6 run lead....

All in all, I had a really fun time with the Rave Run. It had some serious flaws. Parking was rough. Traffic was a mess. It wasn't horribly well organized. There were too many people for the course and the course like Valleyfair itself, has seen much better days. However, all of those issues ironically fit in the with the theme of the race. Raves aren't know for their parking, organization or personal space.

Iron Man 3 Event at The Source

One of the greatest pleasures I have as a parent is sharing fun experiences with my kids. They like many of the same things I do and we get along really exceptionally well. Last night we attended the Iron Man 3 event at The Source Comics and Games in Roseville and I was again pleasantly surprised by my kids and by the event itself.

We walked away with a ton of free stuff and the kids had a great time. Each of them received an Iron Man action figure. Through the plinko game, we received an Iron Man 3 poster, Iron Man 3 tattoos, and even an Iron Man 3 t shirt. The line moved quickly and then we had time to search around the store for the Mandarin's rings. Whomever found the most got free passes to an advance screening of the movie. My son was disappointed by not finding any rings but it was a stroke of genius by The Source. We spent almost 30 minutes checking out every inch of the store. The kids were the ones who drove it and really wanted to find those rings. But they also saw tons of other items and my son's birthday list is officially overloaded.

 Iron Man chilling on the way to school today. 

 Poster that bumped Lego Pirates of the Caribbean off the preferred spot in the bedroom.

 Fun Iron Man 3 shirt that is a small so was deemed a night shirt. Joint custody and a sharing agreement has already been established. 

May 3rd. I'll be there. I'll have to fight them both to let me have a parental guidance preview. 

The Source's relatively new location gives them so much room. It was fascinating and pretty cool that a group of gamers were set up for their game in the back, completely uninterested in the movie fans. The new location is somewhat of a United Nations of Nerds. Giving gamers, movie geeks, comic geeks and more enough room to exist and co-exist. I was thoroughly pleased with the ease of the evening, how kid friendly it was and how easily it was to check out at the end. (We got Ticket to Ride, review to come). All in all kudos to The Source and Disney, who provided the prizes and movie materials. It was perhaps done well enough that a tiny portion of my Disney doing Star Wars agnst was destroyed. Perhaps. 

OH! Also The Source has Game of Thrones merchandise....this is not good for my bank account. Patches, pint and shot glases, decks of cards etc. Hell, I could even get a Hand of King pin. Yep. It plays.

 

Trailer Triple

This Summer is going to be awesome for geeks and movies. I pray.

Thor The Dark World (Thor 2)

Star Trek Into Darkness (Star Trek 2)

Kick Ass 2

Sequels can rule.

Wednesday Wanderings

The two best things that I have gotten out of internet dating in 2013 are being exposed to LCD Soundsystem's "dance yrself clean" and rereading Vonnegut's "Cat's Cradle" When put in that light, internet dating has been highly productive.

I forget the brilliance of Vonnegut. Masterful story teller and amazingly intelligent. Perhaps evil genius level. I mean he got an anthropology degree from the University of Chicago for this book.  The character of Felix Hoenikker is so brilliant yet unable to be part of society, he's like an accidental Bond villian.

Aaron Hicks has had a rough start to his MLB career. But kudos, props and much respect the Twins organization for not panicking and looking for a quick fix. This season is about learning what some of these kids can do. Not what a AAAA player like Julio Borbon can do.

 My love for fake band tshirts (Wyld Stallyns, The Beets, Jesse and the Rippers) might soon be replaced by love for fake beer brand ts and hoodies like Peter Cotton Ale.

One reason I may never find my true love is because she's actually a fictional character. But who doesn't love Kate Beckett? This scene is amazing. Hell this entire show is my therapy.

Mumford and Sons sometimes gets blasted for hipsterness, being too popular etc. But I'd love to see them live. Music can be an incredible version of a prayer. No matter your religious leanings.

Jess Myers writes good stuff for 1500 ESPN here in MN. But this article seems to reach a bit too far. If the Wild had picked up penalties and lost the game. Myers and the rest of the media would blast them for being too reactionary and emotional.

Rapid Fire:

Some people don't believe I'm on Pinterest.

If I ever get the guts to actually get my tattoo, this guy might do it.

As a entrepreneur, I wish I had thought of being this Dad.  

Since my true love is a fictional character, I don't have to worry about ruining my chances by putting this Yoda on my wall.

I was pleasantly surprised by the Dawn Treader at Canal Park Brewing Co in Duluth. Craving.

Kids and I will be going to this tonight. I'm super excited about the movie. Even if the Lego's in the store ruined one plot surprise already....

Optimism v. Pessimism - Or How I learned to hate absolutes

I often question whether my pessimism is a learned or inherent behavior. Am I am a dark grumpy cloud at times because I am simply wired that way? Or have the experiences of my life, the dreams deferred, the mistakes, the public elimination and discontinuation of Surge and Oldsmobile, national and international tragedies and so much more, made me that dark cloud? Perhaps it is illuminating that I have always preferred Grumpy Bear to Cheer Bear and Oscar over Big Bird.

Definitions of 'optimism' [op-tuh-miz-uhm] Dictionary.com -(noun)

 

1. tendency to have a favorable view of things

2. the belief that good will prevail

 

Over the past few years I have tried to make a serious effort to have a favorable view of things. I try not to get too down when little things happen, a bad tip, crappy traffic, a winter that won't end etc. It has been a struggle at times and it is a constant battle. Some moments I'm good at it. Some moments I'm incapable of seeing even the slightest light at the end of the tunnel. And if I do, I'm convinced it's simply an oncoming train. 

However, part 2 is something I'm not sure I can do. At times it feels that life isn't about good prevailing. It's about good surviving. Did good prevail in Boston last week? No. Good survived. If good had prevailed, the bombers would have been caught before they could place those pressure cookers. The great and amazing thing about good is that it can and does survive. 

The good vs. evil dynamic is a version of the zombie apocalypse. Good doesn't defeat evil in the way that survivors don't defeat zombies. There is no cure. There is no eradication coming. Good must survive evil. Not prevail. Good is a survivor and sometimes good has to capture evil, cut it's jaw off and drag it around by a chain so it can alert good to more evil.

From the dictionary definition, I'm working on half of what optimism is. And I reject even the premise of the second part. So perhaps I'm more in line with pessimism. 

Definitions of 'pessimism' [pes-uh-miz-uhm] Dictionary.com - (noun)

 

1. the tendency to expect the worst

 

Is it just me or does it seem like Dictionary.com just mailed in the detail on this definition. Though, ironically perhaps I'm just being pessimistic. 

"The tendency to expect the worst" At times I do expect the worst. But more often, I find myself caught off guard by the worst. I don't walk up to every table expecting a horrible tip or a impossible to please patron. I don't watch every sporting event expecting a loss for the home team. Inexplicably, I still expect to date and find love. I believe that my children's lives will be filled with possibility and look eagerly forward to watching them grow and experience life. 

Yet. I trend toward expecting the worst as events unfold. If the food comes out wrong, or we are out of something or I take too long to get the seven slices of lemon that a table desires - I expect the worst (No tip, lose job, stabbed with spork). If the Twins are suddenly down by four runs in the first inning and the offense looks as completely lost at the plate - I expect the worst (Career ending injuries, 25-0 loss, No hitter). When I ask someone out and get a lukewarm or traditionally bad response (Washing my hair, Just so busy right now, You're so nice and fun and a great friend) - I expect the worst. (alone forever, forget the feel of human touch). When things like the Boston bombing, bullies in the classroom, teachers who are poorly placed, school districts that split a school in two for financial reasons over educational reasons, the rising debt, those aforementioned evil zombies - I expect the worst (My children unhappy).

So what does this mean? (Luther's Catechism reference!) 

In summation, I'm a half optimist who has pessimistic tendencies as the evil seems to prevail over the good. 

In short, I'm probably just human. 

And that's ok. 

March Blues and My love of VHS.

In the past two decades, I have grown to hate March. March for me isn't good. Break ups happen in March. People die in March. Winter won't end in March. Especially this year. A foot of snow outside and the bit that does melt, ends up in the drainage disaster where the driveway meets the garage. I'm thinking of a investing in a kayak to get to the car.

I self medicate quite well. Whether that medication is time out, entertainment, beverage, time alone or whatever. I try to find some thing to minimize whatever the rough spot of the day is. But this month has been hard. When the winter blues have their grip on me this hard, I see negatives in every corner. I take every statement, look, off hand comment the wrong way and to heart. Being aware that I do it helps but it doesn't make it happen any less.

Weirdly enough, I have found one thing that has helped in some measure these past few weeks. Movies on VHS. Yep. Serious.

I feel about VHS like many feel about vinyl records. There is something familiar and nostalgic and tactile about them. Having to rewind. Adjusting the damn tracking so those lines disappear. The wonderfully outdated previews and commercials that you have to either sit through or fast forward through. I grew up with movies on VHS. I love them.

So recently, I went down to Half Price Books, went down to the clearance level and stocked up. I have my family's entire VHS collection in the basement. But it's all the way down the stairs. And part of the joy is finding things I wouldn't expect.

Like an unopened copy of The Hunt for Red October!!!!!!

Which of course, I haven't even considered opening. Possibly my favorite movie of all time, and it's never been touched?!?!

I also picked up Gone in 60 Seconds, Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade, Speed and High Fidelity. What a haul? Three of my favorite movie ever, the movie that introduced me to Sandra Bullock and one that is just pure popcorn fun with plenty of Nic Cage.

I've watched Gone four times already. Crusade twice and Speed once. High Fidelity always hits a bit close to home, so we'll wait for April on that one.

Revisiting these films, filled with memories and fun little surprises, like young Jeff Daniels in Speed, the impulse to say "Pop quiz, Hot shot". Super young and annoying Timothy Olyphant delivering lines like "Are you ok? Are you sure? Because you just went through a wall..." A future Doctor Who as the baddie in Gone, Christopher Eccleston. Alan Ruck, Cameron from Ferris Bueller's Day Off being one of the bus passengers in Speed. All such good stuff.

Often memory lane for me is more nightmare on elm street type stuff. A place I don't let my mind go too often. But these movies, with the joy I remember from seeing them the first time. All the times I'd say to Matt Johnson in grade school, "Pop Quiz, hot shot" How I was convinced I'd marry Sandra Bullock. How Harrison Ford and Sean Connery together just seemed so right and how I imagined it was just like when I would go flea marketing with my father in Arkansas. Minus the hot blonde Nazi of course.

All those good things. Good thoughts. Maybe I'll make it through this March after all.

Game of Thrones Season 1 Episode 2. Shhh...kid is sleeping

So it's not after midnight and I'm sure that this will probably wake my son as he's literally sleeping feet away. Curiously his bed is unacceptable. Grr.

Episode 2. The Kingsroad

Love the opening. Love it more that it was originally created as a between scenes mechanism for the audience to know where things were happening. And love it best because they ditched that and just expected more from the audience.

Dothraki. Walking/riding for ever sucks. Soon to be Khalisee doesn't like this so much...

Drago is like a C cup at least right?

Big brother is creep. Even when he is being a dick about nonsense.

Tyrion. Wakes with livestock....I've been there.

Imp slapping Jophrey is my favorite moment. Maybe ever.

Bran might live. Awkward for everyone in the house of creepy incest.

Circi is such a liar. She wants nothing more than Bran dead....

Jamie, claims to help John Snow. But he knows that John Snow is a threat....

Arya is so destined for more. and her and John Snow should spend more time talking since they could great allies.

John Snow makes an effort with his familhy. In spite of his step mom's hate. Good man.

I get why she (lady stark) hates him. But he's been a good sibling so seriously, it's that more important?!!?

Rob and John parting is heart breaking.

King and hand. Such good friends. But not excellent people.

Targardrean has wed a Dothraki. Is that bad?

So that happened....lets all stare at the dragon eggs and pretend it didnt.

Tyrion and John Snow. Seriously. A great pair to rule....but no.

The mind needs books like the sword needs a wet stone. F'ing brilliant.

Bran is still asleep. Easily the best job every. Collect sag rates and prepare to sleep.

Rob steps up. First time. Not the last time. He is Eddard's son

Thank god for the white wolves. Seriously considering getting a wolf like dog now. Bad ass.

Khaleesi learns quick.

Mssr. Stark knows...and the hair might tell her something.

Rob is pissed.

So Lady Stark is going on a trip and Rob is right to fear for Bran. I like him again.

If he wanted the Dothoraki way...why did he marry you?

"Tonight I will look upon your Face"

Damn. We didn't cover this in interpersonal communication....

Jophrey is such a dick.

Arya is the best ever. And her wolf best Jophrey too.

Arya also protects her wolf. Best of the rest. Easy.

Couldnt be a better way to pit North v South than the direwollf execution.

And thus. Bran awakes.

Episode 2. Ends. I'm exhausted after two...not sure I'll make it all the way...