Dream a Little Dream

1. 
   Dreams are successions of images, ideas, emotions, and sensations that occur involuntarily in the mind during certain stages of sleep. - Google.
   
   
   
   Dreams are a pain in the ass. - Adam
   
   
   
   Here it is, 4 am. Luckily not the day after Christmas. But all the same. I am awake and disquieted.
   
   
   Tonight it was a dream about the speed/life/id force being sucked out of my body and needing other people's help recapturing it and putting it back in.
   
   
   Red and yellow lighting that had to have been stolen from repeated viewings of CW's The Flash represented the energy pulling extracted from my body. I spun around and around like a tornado as it ripped out of me. I could feel myself tossing and turning from pillow to pillow as I did so.
   
   
   That's part of the weird joy of my dreams. The consciousness. Like I can almost pull myself out of it. But not quite.
   
   
   It was a pattern. The lightning or whatever would be ripped out by some unknown force. Then it would crackle and explode back into me. A reverse spin of course.
   
   
   It took the pattern of so many of my dreams. A series of events that always unfolds the same way and has since I was a child.
   
   
   1. An elaborate process of creation (puzzle, build, speed force withdrawl)
   
   
   2. Repeatedly increasing the process and the speed of the process.
   
   
   3. Building anxiety about trying to keep up with the conveyor belt, the screaming monkeys or the stomach churning vertigo from constant spinning.
   
   
   4. Complete systematic failure. Conveyor belt collapse, puzzle disintegrates, bridge burns, monkey's throw poop. Etc.
   
   
   As I kept spinning it was obvious that I wasn't going to be able to continue. And as my body grew weak, it became apparent that some of the force or id or energy had been lost or broken or flawed. Energy crackled from a spot in my chest where I had put the pieces back together wrong or had missed a step in my twisting panicked state. The missing energy or id or bleepity bleepity corrupted the entire process and me and it spread and spread and burned and burned....
   
   
   BOOM.
   
   
   Awake. Wide awake.
   
   
   
   Sitting up with a jolt. Double checking my chest to make sure that it didn't explode.
   
   
   It didn't.
   
   
   But tell that to the part of me that decides that sleep isn't really something we want to do again tonight. Thanks but no thanks. I'm good.
   
   
   It's anxiety. It's stress. It's all things that will pass with time and patience and morning light.
   
   
   It might even be the left over Chinese I had before bed.
   
   
   Whatever it is, it's been an uncomfortable guest for most of my life.
   
   
   But luckily, I deal. I have dealt and will deal again. It's not going away and it's a part of me. So I gave it a theme song. Everyone needs a theme song. You know you have one in your head right now.
   
   
   So my dear recurring dream, my inescapable and traitorous nighttime sidekick, this song's for you.
2.